Lost in the Abyss
by Chelsea of the Moor
Summary: Harry does something that causes all others to reevaluate their relationships with him. He attempts suicide. Only one person cares enough however to find out why. H/G
1. The End

**Title: Lost in the Abyss**

**Author:ShadowChild**

**Summary: Harry does something that brings everyone to reevaluate how well they know him. He tries to kill himself. Only one person cares enough to find out why.**

**A/N this is a story done often enough but I felt it needed something…**

It was a frosty night in late November it was the coldest November day that anyone who was at Hogwarts that day remembered, which was somewhere around one hundred fifty two years. Madame Pince had spent the day searching the records for a day this cold. It was dark outside and there were no signs of life around, all the trees usually so green and large were bare gnarled branches sticking out at seemingly impossible angles. Empty bird nests were perched on these branches though their inhabitants had long since migrated south. The ground that in summer displayed lush green grasses was covered by a massive blanket of newly fallen snow.

          The only light came from a full moon shining over the snow coated grounds causing the white snow to glisten enticingly. Earlier in the day however there had been no light and no sign of it, the entire day had been gray and dreary for everyone in the castle. It had been the kind of day where day something goes wrong every chance it got and of course everything had for at least one person.

          Harry Potter sat by the window in his dorm room near the top of Gryffindor tower more depressed than he'd ever been. His life at Hogwarts was no longer meaningful; it was not the snow or the dreariness of the day that made him think these thoughts but the turn his entire life had taken these past two years.

          His appearance was the first change that anyone would notice. He was so thin that each rib could be counted and felt nearly all the way around. His eyes seemed to have sunk deep into his face and they had lost the spark that had lived in them for the first few years of his time at Hogwarts. The streak of mischief that had stood out in his eyes had been replaced by a seriousness that no one else could explain. Truthfully he didn't know if he could pinpoint it either. When he looked at himself in the mirror now he didn't see what he used to.

          He wore dark clothes even when he wasn't in his robes. He wore black muggle jeans that were like all of his clothes ten sizes to big but comfortable, his standard shoes were black boots that he had bought with money he had changed at Gringotts. No one noticed this change in wardrobe.

          Staring at the moon in the dark sky he hummed a muggle song that he had grown quite fond of. __

_          I see the moon _

_And the moon sees me_

_The moon sees the one, who I want to see,_

_God bless the moon,_

_And God bless me,_

_God bless the one who I want to see._

The one who he wanted to see, maybe he could pinpoint the cause of his change after all_.  Harry stood from the chair he was sitting in revealing the fact that he had not grown in nearly two years and had been short to begin with. He looked no older than thirteen. His legs were long compared to his torso and this made it easy to hang onto his broom during Quidditch though lately he had lost all interest in Quidditch. _

He slowly walked to the battered trunk near the end of his four poster bed and undid the lock. This made a slight noise and one of his roommates grunted. Harry crouched unmoving and unbreathing for two full minutes before he moved again and the moves were more calculated. He proceeded to open the trunk and rummage carefully through it. After a minute and a few mouthed curses he pulled out a photo album. 

Slowly he set it on the ground and closed his trunk. He then picked it up again and tiptoed out of the room. He eased slowly down the stairs praying that nobody would hear him. He'd have a nasty job explaining to McGonagall why he had to go to the common room at three in the morning. He could picture that scene. McGonagall in her bathrobe and hairnet lips pursed tightly (He seen her like so often he kept looking for a ticking vein in her forehead) and eyes staring at him with one eyebrow raised.

"Tell me Mr. Potter why were you going to the common room of all places?" she'd trill as she had every time she found him.

"So I didn't wake my room mates Professor." He'd mutter as innocently as you please.

"Why at three o clock Potter?" she'd stare into his eyes and he would pretend to back down.

"Seemed as good of a time as any as I couldn't sleep, haven't in fact since last August." Well he'd have to edit the last statement of course. She couldn't know that. To her he still had to be Perfect Potter as he did to everyone else. No one knew what he felt and no one cared.

The summer after fourth year he hadn't been allowed to leave the Dorsey's' until the very last week of August and in his absence Ron and Hermione had come quite _er close to say the least. It seemed Hermione hadn't gone to see Krum or something to that effect and they had confessed their love for one another. They spent so much time necking during that one week that he was sure they'd stick together and it had just gotten worse._

Banishing these thoughts from his mind he opened the photo album. He lingered for a moment on the photos of his parents, staring into his mothers emerald eyes that were just like his people said though now they had dulled. His father smiled at him and he saw the crow's feet at the edge of the older mans' eyes. 

Quickly he turned the page skipping pages as he hurried. Finally he came across the picture he was looking for. He eased it out of its spot and held it close to him. It was a fairly recent picture and its stillness proved that it was a muggle photograph. In it were Harry and a young boy no older than two. You could see from his face that it was a fairly recent problem.

He stared at the little boy his hair was so light it was white in the colorless picture. The smile on his face was rivaled only by Harrys'. Harry held the little boy on his shoulders in front of a tree in a park that could have been anywhere. He stared at the striped shirt on the young ones shirt and the tiny shoes on his feet rememorizing every detail that he already knew by heart. Holding the photo close to his heart he headed out of the portrait hole suspecting no one was watching. Unbeknownst to him someone was.

 Ginny Weasly slipped out from behind the armchair she was hidden behind. She too slid out the portrait hole and ignored the Fat Lady,

"What are you two doing I should like to know?" she shrilled robotically as she had done for centuries when students were out of bed. Ginny ran down the corridors following Harry's echoing footsteps. She didn't know where he was going, but something told her she had to follow. She went upstair cases behind him and realized that his steps became more hurried.

Harry didn't know anyone was following him and he didn't want anyone to. Know was to know what he was going to do until it was done. _No one will care anyway all they'll care about is that the boy-who-lived is gone. Boohoohoo we have to take care of the dark lord ourselves with out Perfect Potter. No they wouldn't care that Harry had had problems that were much worse than that. _

Only one person in the world would care that he was gone. And that one person was the only one he loved. He got to the top of the astronomy tower panting and walked over to the edge. The cold air blew his hair back and made him shiver. He raised his foot to the stone and pushed up with his hands. _Well. He thought __if I don't do it I'll fall anyway. The thought was quite comforting. He raised the rest of his body onto the ledge and stood his legs shaking._

He knew in his heart that he had to do it. If he did it that his pain would be over and no one would have to worry about him anymore, the child who he loved would live better because they would try to figure out why "perfect happy Potter" killed himself and they would realize what kind of a life Luke had. Yes it was the perfect solution. _If it was the ideal solution then why was he shaking? Shaking his head he took a deep breath and bent his knees. Tears streamed down his face as he scrunched his eyes shut. Taking a deep breath he leapt into the black abyss._

Ginny ran up the last step in time to see his head disappear from view. Feeling sick she drew out her wand and ran to the edge she could see from the angle of his body that Harry had lost consciousness. 

"Wingardium Leviosa!" she shouted her voice cracking, she felt the tug on her wand that signaled that she had him under her control. She pulled the limp body back up to the tower and let the spell go. She thrust her wand back into her wand and rushed to him. His eyes were closed and his face was peaceful. She stared at his chest and let out her breath when she saw he was breathing. She set his head on her lap. 

"Wake up Harry." She whispered but he didn't stir. She stood and took up her wand again. She conjured a stretcher and put him on it. She saw that he was still clutching something. When she looked close she saw that it was a picture. She didn't know the young boy in it and wondered who he was. It was only then did she realize how absent she'd been in Harry's life for nearly two years.

**A/N well here it is. My first chapter. I sincerely hope you review for if you don't I may be forced to no longer continue. **


	2. Memories

**Title: Lost in the Abyss**

**Author:ShadowChild**

**Summary: Harry does something that brings everyone to reevaluate how well they know him. He tries to kill himself. Only one person cares enough to find out why.**

**A/N thank you all for the reviews. Many of you want to know who Luke is! You'll find out!!!**

She got him to the Hospital Wing as quickly as possible ducking around corners and speeding down halls. She raced down the stairs jumping them at intervals and nearly breaking her neck when she got half-stuck in the disappearing step. When she got to the Hospital Wing she banged on the door so hard that the sound reverberated against the walls. She heard footsteps coming.

"Madam! Madam hurry please!" she yelled in a panic.

"Alright alright I'm coming child stay calm." The door swung open and the matron stood in front of them in a night cap and dressing gown. Her eyes widened at the sight of them. Quickly she laid Harry on a bed and then demanded that Ginny tell her what happened.

Eyes downcast she told the whole story. 

"I was up late studying for a Transfiguration test next week in the common room when I saw him leave. I followed. Harry's been so quiet for such a long time that I decided to find out once and for all what the heck was going on. He went to the astronomy tower and…" she gulped, "and he jumped. I used a levitating charm to retrieve him before he reached the ground but I think he hit his head on the side of the castle." 

The matron tutted a few times and Ginny just stared at her, he could have died and the barmy old lady is standing there tutting. 

"Stupid child. Ah well I'll get McGonagall. He'll wake soon." She fluttered away leaving Ginny open mouthed. _Stupid child? Harry tries to kill himself and he's a Stupid child? What're they gonna do take his shoelaces and take off points? That was what happened in fact. McGonagall took twenty points from Gryffindor for the two of them being out of bed and left it at that. _

Ginny however didn't leave the hospital wing. She sat by Harry's bed for the entire day. Throughout that day he didn't wake up. The matron checked him over several times and couldn't find much physically wrong with him except for the nasty bump on his head. Finally she made a decision. If he wouldn't wake she could at least find out why he had done what he did. She couldn't sit here feeling so helpless.

Really she didn't know why she had taken such an interest in this. She hadn't spoken to Harry much in a long time. When she was in her fourth year he had seemed preoccupied and she had been brushed off probably because of her previous reputation of a silly little girl. She had grown out of the silly crush on him knowing that her feelings were definitely not mutual.

She supposed it may have been the past but the conversation she over heard between Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey influenced it also.

"Poppy never in the history of the school!" the Gryffindor teacher had shrilled.

"there was that Hufflepuff in 1789." The nurse recalled.

"I don't care that wasn't in my watch! We will keep this quiet do you understand?"

"Of course we will!" 

While thinking of this she remembered the conversation she and Harry had near the end of his fifth year. She had been walking down the corridor on her way to Charms when she had heard his voice. Embarrassed she realized that his voice still made her ears perk up. She listened to the conversation and recognized the other voice as that of Cho Chang. 

"So er what are you doing the next Hogsmeade weekend?" he had asked Ginny knew trying to sound cool. He didn't entirely succeed because from six yards away Ginny could hear the crake in his voice.

"Oh I don't really know… chat at the Three Broomsticks I suppose." She had said as naturally as if she gave this response every five minutes. Ginny knew this was a tactic designed to through any boy off their guard and it had succeeded with Harry.

"Really? 'Cause I was wondering if maybe…" the last part of this sentence was muttered and Ginny was glad when Cho asked,

"Pardon?"

"If you'd like to er hang out with me for a bit." He said just the tiniest bit slower.

"That's really nice of you Harry but I have to study for exams."

"Oh. Okay." The letdown showed in his voice like an uninflated balloon.

"I'm really sorry."

"That's okay." Harry had walked on and seen Ginny.

"I just really got dissed didn't I?" he had asked.

"Yes." She had blushed mentally slapping herself.

"Thanks for being honest, care to walk with me?" she nodded though she knew she'd be late for Charms. They had walked to a small tower and sat down. "So she hates me right?" Harry had slumped down against the wall. Ginny thanked her lucky stars that she had been able to talk honestly to him. She chose her words very carefully.

"I don't think she _hates you exactly. She just isn't interested in you. You're a year younger and she is just close minded enough to see that as a handicap."_

"So Cedric didn't teach her anything. He obviously didn't see her as a handicap." He then put his hands in he arms. "Speaking of Cedric what the bloody hell am I doing trying to date his old girlfriend?" he said his voice muffled by his hands though not enough to disguise the fact that it was thick as if he was trying not to cry.

"Do or do not there is no try." She smiled at him. "Seriously though. You liked her before Cedric died didn't you?" he nodded and looked up she saw a tinge of pink in his cheeks. "Well then you're acting on human instinct. Harry look at me." He did so smiling bemusedly. "Don't blame yourself for Cedric's death and don't punish yourself for liking a girl he dated. Besides I reckon you don't have a chance with her."

"No I guess I don't." he smiled. "Thanks Gin you're a true friend. The bell rang then and they went to their separate classrooms and separate lives. 

Remembering this made her think about how he had said that last thing. He had said it like he didn't have any other 'true friends'. He had been pretty desolate during his time at the Burrow the previous summer and Ron hadn't talked about him much. Mind you he hardly talked at all he was usually to busy sticking his tongue down Hermione's throat.

Harry came to their house late again the next year and didn't seem to mind. He had said something about it "not being so bad." Or something to that effect when he had met them in Diagon Alley.

Ginny thought of all this in the mid-afternoon and looked over at Harry. He was still holding the photo. She gently took it from his hand and turned it over.

_Harry Potter Age 16 and Lucas Dursley Age 2 years and 4 months _

_August 1996 _

Dursley? Wouldn't that mean he was the Dursley's child? And that in itself would mean he was Harry's cousin, but Ginny thought they only had one child. She looked at the inscription again. Two years old, that would mean that he was born in April of '94. Harry wouldn't have known he was even born until he came home after the Triwizard Tournament. 

          At dinner she went down to the Great Hall not to eat but to talk to people. She walked to the end of the Gryffindor Table and saw what she knew she'd see. She snuck up behind her brother and his girlfriend.

          "So are you all stuck together yet?" she asked and they broke apart.

          "No Ginny… er why would you think that?"

          "See that's what I thought you were going for sticking together with no curses, or are you just going for a record 'longest ever lip-lock maybe?" she smirked and her frustrations throughout the day came out. 

          "Do you want something?" Ron demanded of her.

          "Not particularly I just want to know where Harry is." Ron looked up.

          "Well you see- he's er-"

          "Oh Ron don't be stupid he told us he's er what did he say?" Hermione blathered. Sad really how she had managed to keep her grades while obsessing over Ron but her other friendships were nearly lost. 

          "I'll tell you where he is." Ginny leaned on the table and stared in their faces.

          "Gin you're getting scary."

           You think that's scary? Well here is what's scary he's lying in the hospital wing unconscious after nearly killing himself." She hissed through her teeth. Ron and Hermione's jaws dropped open. 

          "He what?" they said in unison. Ginny smirked again.

          "How sweet the lovebirds even talk together. To bad they forgot they have a friend who they haven't spoke to in ages." Ron burst up.

          "Come on we talk to him!"

          "Yes? Well the tell me who is this?" she whipped out the photo.

          "That." Hermione said smugly "is Luke Harry's baby cousin." 

          "Right!" Ron agreed. 

          "Okay then so you guys must know why Harry did this." They looked at each other.

          "Maybe." They both said at the same time. 

          "Well then c'mon." she said turning to walk out.  

          "Where?" 

          "You two have _got to stop that! To the Hospital Wing," she shook her head. __Mental both of them. She could hear their footsteps as they followed her._

          "Ginny?" she spun on her heal and walked backwards right through the Fat Friar.

          "Yes Ronniekins?" 

          "What's gotten into you?" after thinking about this she decided to answer him truthfully.

          "I don't know Ron something just tells me I have to know why Harry did this and fix whatever is wrong."

          "That's a lot for you to do." Hermione interjected as Ginny faced forward in time to jump to the next staircase.

          "Maybe it is. Well aren't I lucky I don't have a boyfriend to take up my time?" Both of the others shut their mouths. When they got to the hospital wing Hermione gasped.

          "Oh Harry." She knelt beside his bed. "Harry, wake up!" 

          "That won't work." Ginny gave a wistful smile. "I tried." Ron sat in a chair next to the bed.

          "So Ginny, what do you want?"

          "I want you to tell me."

          "Tell you what?" he feigned innocence but she knew that it was faked.

          "Tell me what you know about what's happened to Harry." Ron looked at Hermione but Ginny lept in front of his line of vision. "What _you know not what you __and Hermione know." He threw his hands up. "Alright alright I give up! Let's go to the common room." So they left but only Ginny stole a last glance at Harry. Ron had his arm around Hermione who was sniffling quietly.  _

**A/N well here it is chapter two! Thanks again for all the reviews!**

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Shadow Child~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~***


	3. Broken Ties

**Title: Lost in the Abyss**

**Author:ShadowChild**

**Summary: Harry does something that brings everyone to reevaluate how well they know him. He tries to kill himself. Only one person cares enough to find out why.**

**A/N exams next week so the next chapter won't be for a week or so sorry**

An owl flew over the skies of Ottery St. Catchpole, flying above the clouds to as not to be seen by the unsuspecting villagers. The day had dawned clear and sunny though several white clouds were now floating through the sky. It was a Sunday August of 1995 and Errol the Weasly's owl was flying Harry's response to Ron. 

The owl flew into the open window, on to the kitchen table, and into Fred's cereal.

"Ew Mum can't we get another owl?" he grumbled and then glanced quickly at his twin who winked. His mother leaned against the stove and glanced out the window through which the owl had just come.

"No Fred. I wish we could, but things are hard at the ministry for your father now that he and Fudge are at each others necks." She sighed and turned back to her cooking. Ron had hardly heard any of this. He untied the letter from Errol's leg and ripped it open excitedly. 

_Dear Ron,_

_ Thanks for inviting me even if it is a bit late. I'll be there Sunday at __noon__, even though the Dursley's don't want me to come. Sirius came by the other day disguised as a traveling dog biscuit salesman. He was actually there to talk to one of the "old crowd" who just happens to be my neighbor Arabella Figg (always knew there was something "not quite ordinary" about her), she's going to let me floo out of her fireplace… _

_ I think I know why Dumbledore asked me to come here first this year you see Aunt Petunia had a baby called Luke and they are having me take care of him. He's four months old and a good baby but you won't believe how-_

_ "Is that a letter from Harry, Ron?" Ron looked up from the letter and saw that Hermione had entered the room. He couldn't help but stared at how pretty she was. _

"Er yes it is." He mumbled and she smiled at him.

"Care to tell me what it says?" she sat down next to him and he put his arm around her.

"Not much says he'll be here today at noon." He was glad he'd get to see his friend and glad Harry could get away from the Muggles but couldn't help mourn the loss of his time alone with Hermione. 

They spent the hours before Harry arrived in the garden of the burrow sitting on a bench talking about trivial things and kissing more than anything. Around eleven thirty they had been watching Crookshanks chase a gnome around the bushes. 

"Hermi?' he whispered.

"Hmm?" she murmured laying her head on his shoulder.

"Tell me again why you came back from Krum's." She looked at him and grinned.

"You never get tired of hearing that do you?" he shook his head grinning and his face turned pink. "Okay then, my mum and dad decided that it would be educational for me to spend sometime in Bulgaria though they made me swear in blood that Krum and I wouldn't do anything immoral.

"So I went to his mansion that he bought with his quidditch money and I was miserable. His parents live in a separate house and he hardly spends anytime with them. I didn't like that much when he first said it and it got worse when I found out how nice they are. They're older and his mother is sickly but Krum didn't seem to care. He said that he gave them enough money.

"Then I found out he had three houselves that he treated horribly. They lived in the coldest part of his mansion and are whipped by the other servants. It was horrible. I was barely there two days before I begged to come home." Ron kissed her and she kissed back hard. They stayed in this lip lock until a voice startled them. 

"Well I suppose you two have made up." They had broken apart and turned to see Harry smiling sardonically.

"Sorry mate I didn't see you." 

"Yeah I reckon you didn't you were both busy." Hermione jumped up and hugged him.

"Harry! How are you?" he sat on the edge of the bench leaving Hermione in the middle of Ron and himself.

"I'm okay. I was almost reluctant to leave the Dursley's." Ron's jaw dropped open and strange sounds came out of it. Hermione just stared. Finally Ron recovered enough to speak intelligibly,

"'Scuse me but am I hearing things?" Harry shook his head.

"No. Ya see when I got to the Dursley's I found out they had had a little boy Luke I told you in my letter." Ron blushed ashamed to admit he didn't finish the letter.

"Yeah…"

"So anyway he's so cute. I don't know that much about kids but I knew he wasn't quite on level if ya know what I mean and-" Just then Fred and George ran into the garden caring something large covered with a sheet. 

"Oh Ronniekins!" they called.

"What d' you want?"

"C'mon! Hermione can come to and- Oh! Hiya Harry c'mon we have a surprise for Mum!" the three jumped off the bench and into the house Harry maybe a little bit slower than the other two. They proceeded into the kitchen that the red-haired boys mother never seemed to leave. 

"Mum." George said grinning so hard his face looked like it was going to split wide open. His twin put a hand on the sheet. Mrs. Weasly turned around with a ladle in her hand.

"What is it George Weasly?" she demanded. Right as she finished a look of pure astonishment came over her face. "Oh my word!" underneath the sheet was a brand new owl. 

Later that afternoon Ron and Harry were outside sitting on a rock looking over the village. Mrs. Weasly was still thanking Fred and George and Hermione was off reading. 

"So how are you doing mate?" Ron asked looking at Harry who was lying with his hands underneath his head staring at the clear blue sky.

"Okay. I kind of miss Luke. It's hard to figure how you can love a kid that little so much but they treat him just horribly and I find it so much fun to watch him really." He looked over at Ron who was now staring out to space.

"Yeah." He said dreamily. "Isn't she wonderful?" Harry got up on one elbow.

"Who?" he inquired.

"Hermione." Harry sighed and sat up.

'Oh yeh." He stood and walked off.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Inside."

'Oh. Send Hermi out here will you?" Harry didn't turn back. Later that night, Ron awoke at sometime during the night thinking he heard someone crying, but the next morning he figured that he imagined it. He didn't spend that much time with Harry that summer. Mostly Harry was no where to be found flying his Firebolt high above the fields or sitting somewhere staring off into space. 

The day before the end of the holidays he disappeared for the entire day. When he turned up in time for supper Ron cornered him in the living room.

"Where've you been?"

"What you actually noticed I was gone?" Harry scowled at him.

"Yeah I did. Look I just want to know where you went that's all." Harry rolled his eyes.

"If you must know I flooed to Ms. Figgs with a bag of powder she gave me. I wanted to check on Luke." He sidestepped Ron and headed on to the kitchen. Ron caught up with him and put a hand on his shoulder turning him around.

"What? If you don't mind I'm starving! Year old chocolate cake does nothing for an appetite."

"That kid isn't your responsibilty Harry! You're just a kid yourself you don't need to be bothered about it!" Harry stared into Ron's eyes.

"That" he spat "is where you are wrong. I can't let another child be mistreated by the Dursley's and he is there son. You just don't understand Ron. For your sake I hope you never have to." He went into the kitchen leaving Ron speechless.

They didn't speak again until they got to Hogwarts, and even then it was distant. Their friendship both of them knew had been changed forever unless one of them did something about it. The problem was neither of them would make the first move.

***********************************^************************************

"So both of you were just too damn stubborn?" Ginny questioned when Ron finished his story. He nodded solemnly. 

"I didn't realize anything was so wrong with him. I admit it was stupid and I know it was just plain wrong of me to ignore him like I've done but I never even thought it would lead to this. God if I had known." He placed his head in his large hands shaking it forlornly.

"If only any of us had known. Problem with that is-" Ginny began.

"-we didn't" Hermione finished nodding. 

"Precisely, and now we have to do something about it." Ron squirmed. "Well we do Ron! It's only fair!" Ron stared at her for a second before speaking.

"Do we? I mean when Harry wakes up he'll tell us everything." 

"The key words are _when he wakes up! We don't know when that'll be and what if he doesn't want to tell us? After the way we've treated him, if I were him-"She was interrupted by Ron._

"You're not him Ginny you don't know what he'll do!"

"My point exactly Ron, I don't know what he'll do and I don't know why he tried to kill himself! I want to find out so we don't lose him, you know I am beginning to figure out exactly what Harry means to me and I realize that it's a lot. I don't know him as well as you or Hermione but if I don't do something I may not _get to know him. don't you see?" Ron shrugged but Hermione who had been rather quiet spoke up._

"I think I do Ginny. If we don't do something he might think that we still don't care I mean we always cared but now if anytime we need to show it." She looked pointedly at Ron who nodded.

"I guess Hermione is right. I mean after all Harry is my best friend no matter what. I'll do whatever I can."

"And I," Hermione continued, "need to put my two cents into this."

***********************************^************************************

Unbeknownst to the three of them Harry Potter was dreaming a most wonderful dream. When he had first passed out the world had been full of color but now it was better. It was the best dream he could imagine if only it were real…

a/n I like cliffies. They make you want to read more. Some human instinct I think… you'll find out about the dream at some point though it may be the next chapter and it may not…

* * *


	4. Discoveries

**Title: Lost in the Abyss**

**Author:ShadowChild**

**Summary: Harry does something that brings everyone to reevaluate how well they know him. He tries to kill himself. Only one person cares enough to find out why.**

**A/N sorry about the wait but with exams and Christmas and what have you….**

          Ginny sat on a cool gray rock by the lake staring at the lakes cool blue surface covered in ice and watching the tentacles of the giant squid flail about trying to break out. She didn't seem to notice the cold. She sat unmoving her chin in her hands for sometime thinking about what Hermione had told her.

***********************************^************************************

          When they arrived at Kings Cross at the end of their fifth year Harry looked more tired than usual, this was odd because so unlike their other years there had been no huge final battle, no sneaking through the castle. Voldemort had made several attacks on the muggle world and wizarding world but nothing on Hogwarts yet. 

          Hermione had not spoken to her friend much that year whether it was because she was busy or that he was avoiding her she wasn't sure. Whatever it was that caused the separation it had happened so she wasn't at all surprised at his shock in her approaching him on the train. They had sat in the last compartment as a matter of habit but he had chosen a seat near the back.

          "Harry?" she had asked sliding into the seat next to him. He turned from his staring forlornly out the window.

          "Hmm? What is it Hermione?" 

          "Oh well it's just you look so tired. What's wrong?" 

          "Not much. Just that everyone expects me to be so bloody perfect." He had spat.  "Oh it's not your fault," he added quickly. "It's everyone else, 'Famous Harry Potter is so wonderful." he mocked. Hermione was taken aback.

          "Oh Harry I had no idea."

          "Yeh well now you do. But it doesn't really concern you does it? You and Ron are doing okay. You got the highest OWLS in the history of Hogwarts or something and Ron's got you. not to mention next year he'll have quidditch."

          "What do you mean Harry?" she asked tentatively shocked by her normal calm friends display of emotion.

          "I'm resigning from the team Hermione. Ron's a good keeper he'll be made captain." He stared out at the falling rain again she stared at his reflection there was something in his eyes that hadn't been there before.

          "Why?" he shrugged.

          "Don't see the use of continuing it. Riddle'll kill me eventually and if I kill him well then I'll drift into the shadows. That might not be so bad. I could take Luke I guess. Whatever don't worry Hermione you'll be okay" 

          "Well Harry okay." She had left him alone with his thoughts unsure of the meaning behind his words.

***********************************^************************************

          Ginny herself had seen Harry get off the train. She had tugged her trunk off before him and watched him approach his bulbous uncle.

          "Boy get in the car. The kid'll be your responsibility until September got it?"

          "Yes Uncle Vernon." He muttered as if it was a recording and Ginny, standing close saw a shine in his eyes and almost a bounce in his step as he headed to the car.

          Ginny remembered that day clearly because it was the last day she had seen Harry either happy or looking as he did. The summer had been rather normal for her, she had spent it hiding from Ron and Hermione preferring not to watch them exchange slobber. She spent most of her time in her room happily listening to the WWN and reading.

          Harry she was surprised to see hadn't shown up before the beginning of August. She found out the reason for this during dinner one night. Her father was out doing raids and Fred, George, and Percy were at work. 

          "Ron?" their mother asked as she dished out mashed potatoes. 

          "Yet Mum? 'at is it?" Ron sprayed with a mouthful off roast pork.

          "Have you asked Harry to visit yet?" Ron's jaw dropped open a sight that nearly made Ginny gag, and he exchanged a panic stricken look with Hermione who blushed visibly. 

          "Er I was just about to Mum as soon as I ate." Ron ate faster than she had ever seen him and ran upstairs. Later that night in-between complaints of a stomach ache he confirmed that he had written to Harry. 

          Harry met them in Diagon Alley and Ginny almost didn't recognize him he was unusually pale with dark circles under his eyes. He wore a baggy black shirt with a neon green spider outline on it. His jeans were black. He had new shoes, black lace up boots that went up to his calf. He stood in the shadows of the leaky cauldron and gave them a slight wave as he came over. He noticed them staring at his close and smiled a lopsided smile,

          "I got some of my money converted in Hogsmeade the last week of school. I need new clothes and these work." Ginny smiled,

          "They're nice."

          "Thanks. Luke liked 'em he calls it my 'Pider dirt.'" The smile was guinune now and she saw that his eyes shown when he spoke of this boy. Ron didn't seem to notice. 

          "C'mon mate let's go to Flurish and Blotts." Harry nodded and followed dragging his booted feet. 

          Why then would he want to leave the boy he so obviously loved so much? Ginny pondered as it grew dark by the lake. Why would he throw that future away? The change he made in his wardrobe didn't seem to affect anything else. As far as she knew his studies were still going well. No one had said anything to the contrary. She sighed and headed inside. She was surprised to be met at the door by her only brother still at Hogwarts.

          "What do you want, Ron?"

          "I came to tell you that if you  need to go through Harry's stuff or something all of the sixth years are attending the apparition lectures." He turned almost immediately to go but she put her hand on his shoulder.

          "Ron this isn't your fault. I know I implied it last night but I was mad. Don't think that it is your fault."

          "Thanks Gin." He headed inside and she followed. She went up to the Gryffindor Common room quietly she went upstairs using a staircase she had never been up before. She opened the door slowly and knew immediately which bed was Harry's, it had a poster of a lion above it and upon closer inspection his initials were on his trunk.

          She opened his trunk, and saw that everything looked basically ordinary his shirts were folded neatly and everything was in rows, she lifted the clothes out to revel a plethora of various objects. His firebolt, sneakascope, and invisibility cloak were in the corner, she had heard Ron talking about it. He had his dragon figure on his bedside table she saw. Near the bottom of his trunk there was an old book.

          She lifted it up gingerly afraid that it could be something like the Riddle diary. The book was worn and old and the pages were wrinkled Ginny blew the dust off the cover and a cloud surrounded her head. When the dust cleared she looked at the title in gold embossed letters.

          **_Muggle Laws Concerning Children _**

**_                   Updated every year _**

          She opened the book and saw it was a library book there were two names on the check out list one was Albus Dumbledore in eighteen seventy and the other was Harry Potter. Ginny assumed that it had been forgotten deep in the Muggle Law section and that Madame Pince had forgotten about it also something that did not often happen. She saw that several of the pages had been dog-eared and some of it was highlighted and underlined

          She closed his trunk and snuck out of the dorm as easily as she had gone in. She sat in the common room that night studying the book she imagined the same way Harry had. She read all of the references he highlighted and several more. One was highlighted and underlined several times.

          _If any party can prove that the minor(s) in question have/are being/been mistreated than that party can go before a court of law and have the minor(s) placed in alternative care1_

_          Alternative care could mean she read another parent or the next of kin. If none were available a government home. So Harry had not entirely based his attempted suicide on Luke though she figured it might have figured in. after all a home must be better than the Dursley's however she couldn't imagine Harry not wanting to stay with Luke.  _

          Unbeknownst to Ginny it had grown late. The rest of the house was asleep and the moon, almost three quarter shown through the window. She sat back in the leather upholstered chair and rubbed her temples trying to ease away the coming headache and concentrate on solving this mystery. The light hit something on the corner of the table hidden behind a large candle. She moved the candle she got what was tuck and realized that it was the photo album that Harry had been looking through. 

Sighing she opened it and flipped through the pictures. She looked at the pictures of his parents and of Ron, Hermione, and him. One picture made her laugh it was during their third year and they were covered in snow. Then there was one from Harry's fourth year that someone had taken of Hermione before the ball. 

There were fewer of the next years but one took her breath away. It was one Colin had taken of her and Harry that he had taken because of the view. They had both been sitting by the lake and Colin had liked the angle and the way the light shown on their faces. She hadn't known Harry had a copy. She smiled looking at their faces but noticed the pain in his eyes she had missed that day. 

She looked at her watched and saw that it was after three in the morning. She made her way upstairs stumbling a little she was so tired. She climbed in her bed fully dressed and fell asleep. She dreamed of Harry and got a slight clue In a nightmare she didn't remember in the morning.

**A/N It's one in the morning but I'M DONE  ******


	5. Dreams

**Title: Lost in the Abyss**

**Author:ShadowChild******

**Summary: Harry does something that brings everyone to reevaluate how well they know him. He tries to kill himself. Only one person cares enough to find out why.**

**A/N *dodges rotten tomatoes* I know you guy probably don't even remember me or are eternally pissed but I really am sorry. Real life gets in the way of everything! This chapter should semi make up for my absence**

          The next morning dawned cloudy and gray. Ginny awoke gradually from the deep sleep she had slipped into. She had to rub her eyes several times before she became coherent. Slowly she dressed and went immediately to the hospital wing; Harry was how she'd left him, and how she'd left him every day. She sighed as she settled into a chair. She began to talk to him as she had everyday,

"I found that law book. Why didn't you tell any of us how you felt? Why'd you do it? For Luke? But if you read that book you wouldn't need to would you? I don't get it Harry I really don't." The door creaked open suddenly and Ginny snapped her head up. The Headmaster stood there. 

"Ah Miss. Weasly I thought I could perhaps find you here."

"Hello, Headmaster," Dumbledore sat in a chair next to her and glanced over at Harry's unconscious figure.

"I assume you are trying to find out what happened to Mr. Potter are you not?" he cut directly to the point a quality that many admired in Albus Dumbledore; however, this made Ginny a bit uncomfortable.

"Er… yes Professor I am." She stammered looking at Harry instead of her headmaster. The old man studied her figure for a long time trying to think of exactly what to tell her.

"Well then Miss. Weasly there are certain things that I must tell you about exactly what happens when a wizard tries to take their own life and is unsuccessful particularly if they are saved by a true friend." She raised her eyes to meet his.

"Yes?" he held her full attention and he was aware of this. He sighed before beginning. 

"First of all in order for the person ever to leave a comatose state there must be someone who cares enough to bring them out of it in the first place. For Harry that of course is you. I know for a fact you can do it may have infact done so already. There is a catch however.

"In order for Harry to join us again the true reason must be abolished or need them at that moment in order to be abolished or else he will remain lost. No, lost is not the word. You see Harry is not just in blackness now and that complicates things. 

"When a person wizard or muggle goes into a coma brainwaves slow and so thought is generally lost. In this case the brainwaves are being used for something else. A dream. That is all I know though it is said to be a dream of the persons fantasy. In a way his hearts desire. That is why unless the reasons for the suicide attempt are found they will remain and will wish to remain in their current state." He stopped talking to let this sink in. Ginny sat wide eyed.

"So let me get this straight" she said slowly. "Unless I get rid of all of the problems that caused him to try to kill himself or unless there is dire need for him to do it he stays like this?" Dumbledore nodded gravely. "So this all rests in my hands?"

"Yes I am afraid so." Quiet tears filled Ginny's eyes but she blinked them back. "Most of your teachers have agreed to let you have some time off. Some of them required a bit of –ahem- persuading but they all agreed in the end." 

"Thank you very much Professor." 

"You're welcome, and Ginny if there is anything you need from me please tell." She nodded and he left. 

"I guess you heard all of that Harry. Well looks like I've got some sleuthing to do. I hope you don't mind. "

*****************************^******************************************

          Harry was trapped in his mind but he didn't mind. He was once again ten years old. He awoke in a bed that he didn't know and yet he did. Methodically he jumped out and began to dress. He bolted down a set of stairs and into his mother's arms.

          "Whoa there Har!" she said laughing and tousling his hair. "Slow down!"

          "Sorry Mum but didja forget what day it is?" he said laughing energetically.

          "Umm… yes of course today I must repot the gardenias!" his blank face caused her to burst out into a musical laughter. "I know it's your birthday you goon!" he broke into a smile and ran past her. His father sat at the breakfast table along with a girl of about eight and a small blonde baby. 

          "Well hello birthday boy!" James Potter said jovially. Harry sat down at the table next to his sister Ashley. "Tell me what is that this eleven year old wants on this momentous day?" Harry pretended to ponder this though he'd let them all know it for months.

          "Let's see… a cake… with candles." Ashley was bouncing in her chair.

          "And a broom!" she squealed but Harry ignored her.

          "And ice cream… and Ron to come over…" suddenly a pair of hands was placed over his eyes and he tried to escape them laughing and squirming before they were removed. In front of him was a Nimbus 2000. "Mum! Dad! Thank you!" he squealed and hugged both of his parents. 

          "You're most welcome!" Lily chuckled. 

          "I helped pick it out!" Ashley said perturbed.

          "And you did a great job, Sis!" he said hugging her too. She pretended to be disgusted but she smiled happily. Harry examined the broom from top to tail twigs. Lily placed a pancake on his plate but, though it was his favorite, he didn't touch it. Before anyone else had eaten their breakfast he was bouncing around on his seat wanting to go outside.

          "Ah not yet Master Potter." His mother said, "You must first open your other presents." He smiled widely and his baby brother laughed. 

          "Lukie!" Harry exclaimed "what are you so happy about? It's my birthday!" the baby boy only smiled, his blue eyes twinkling. Suddenly Harry was drawn from the scene into a dark area that he knew well. It was there that he was drawn into his real life when anyone needed him.  He listened to Ginny talk to him and somewhat reluctantly wanted to go back but he knew he couldn't.

          He had attempted to get out of this place between the fantasies that he loved but it was no use. After he heard Dumbledore speak to him he knew why. When Dumbledore left and Ginny began to cry Harry was once again sucked into the dream world even though he wasn't sure that he wanted to be.

          He was outside in the garden with his father who was teaching him how to control the Nimbus 2000. He knew how to fly but this new broom was different than the others he had flown on. It turned faster and braked easier than any broom. He could dive better and fly higher. Around lunch his friends began to arrive. The Weasly's who, were friends of the family arrived first.

          Harry was quick to show Ron, his best friend, the Nimbus and offer him a ride on it. His little sister Ginny ran off with Ashley who, though she was two years her junior, was her friend. Harry felt his eye wander after her for a reason he wasn't sure of. 

          Soon more friends arrived, Hagrid the Hogwarts Gamekeeper who had known Harry for years came and surprised him with an owl. His godfather Sirius came and made Luke giggle by riding him around on his back when he was in his animagius form. Then Remus Lupin his fathers other best friend. Indeed all of his father's school friends were there except one.

          Peter Pettigrew Harry knew had been a friend of his fathers who had fallen in with Lord Voldemort. Pettigrew had however let his double life slip at a party one night and had been arrested. The dark lord had later been baited and captured by aurour's. 

          His mother's friend Arabella Figg also made an appearance. His mother he was told also had a sister but Harry didn't know her at all, and from what his mother accidentally let slip he didn't want to. The party lasted for hours and Harry had never been happier. As a final present before he went to bed his father presented him with two items. 

          The first was his invisibility cloak. That cloak had been passed down from Potter to Potter for generations. James' father had given it to him and his father before him. The next item was Harry's Hogwarts letter which he opened and read with relish. His mother promised to take him to Hogwarts soon.

          Luke came in to say good night dressed in pajamas with feet and his hair newly washed.

          "Happy Birfday 'arry." He whispered sleepily.

          "Thanks Lukie. G'night." he kissed his parents and went to bed. It was then that Harry was once again driven into the dark expanse to watch Madame Pomfrey spoon feed his limp chicken broth. 

*****************************^******************************************

          Ginny decided after leaving Harry that the first thing to do was to decide what to do. She took out some parchment to take notes on what she already knew.

**Reasons:**

**Luke **she chewed on her quill for a moment before writing,

**Voldemort?**

**Dursleys?** She erased Dursleys feeling that they came under the Luke category. Voldemort she could do nothing about that was his ordeal. That of course was the whole problem that rested on his shoulders. She would have to cross that bridge when she came to it. 

**School?** She knew his marks were good. Or were they? Time to talk to teachers. Then there was one last thing she added.

**Friends** she didn't need a question mark on that one. She examined her short list and decided the first thing to do was to talk to McGonagall. 

          She waited until classes were over and went to Professor McGonagall's office. She knocked gently and McGonagall's face went into a smile when she looked up.

          "Ah Miss Weasly here to ask me about Potter have you?" Ginny nodded caught off guard. "Good, it is a very noble thing that you are doing Ginny I admire you."

          'Thank you Professor." Ginny murmured. She walked over to the desk and sat down across from her teacher. 

          "Well to get to the point. I never saw Potter doing better than he did this year. He knew the answers almost as well as Hermione did. However this change was not the only one I saw this year. His wardrobe first of all, on weekends especially. That I didn't find alarming. His whole demeanor lately though has been day and night to his normal self. 

          "He has not, that I have seen, been with Ron and Hermione much although." McGonagall cleared her throat "they have been doing enough. I digress. He also has spent late nights much of the time. I've seen him in the library in muggle law sections. 

          "I've also seen him trying to get his friends attention, trying to speak to them or just to get noticed to no avail." Here McGonagall got quiet. "I should have done something but he always put up a normal front. I should not be fooled by a student's guise but with Potter…" Ginny sat and saw for the first time her transfiguration teacher speechless.  It did not last long.

          "With Potter we've never known what would happen. So much is expected of him that you never know how he'll turn out." She then put her glasses back on and broke out of her reverie.

          "I must get back to my work Ginny. Is that all?"

          "Yes Professor." Ginny stood and left going to her rock by the lake to mull things over. Some of that she already knew and she scratched School off her list. Friends and Luke were left and she wasn't sure how to solve either.

**A/N good enough? Review! **


	6. Apologies

**Title: Lost in the Abyss**

**Author:ShadowChild**

**Summary: Harry does something that brings everyone to reevaluate how well they know him. He tries to kill himself. Only one person cares enough to find out why.**

**A/N I KNOW it's been longer than usual… Okay wait the last wait was four months… nevermind. But I should be studying for my AP World History test so I'm writing bien sur!**

"Can we go to Diagon Alley today?" Harry asked his mother the second she came into his room the day after his eleventh birthday. He bolted up in bed as soon as the door opened and blurted out his question as his mother sat on the edge of his bed. She smiled and patted his leg.

          "Are you sure you want to? Ashley's school starts tomarrow and if you want to go with just Luke and I you'd better wait." Harry's face fell but he nodded. His mother ruffled his hair and smiled.

          "As for today, what do you say we go over to the Burrow?" The grin returned to Harry's face and he nodded fervently. 

          "Sounds absolutely wonderful to me Mum!" he said happily. His mother smiled and left him to dress. As he pulled a shirt over his head he began to spin and his awareness shifted from his bedroom in Godric's Hollow to the black room. He watched as Ginny settled next to him. The strange thing about these visions (if that was what they were) was that he could see his body lying there. 

          He listened as she recounted her meeting with McGonagall. He was slightly alarmed to realize that McGonagall had noticed anything. He thought he'd hidden it all. Perhaps he had been wrong. So maybe the old teacher had cared. No he told himself. If she had cared she would have said something. Sighing Harry returned to his mind.

          Ginny, left the hospital wing quickly that day, not staying as long as she normally did. She couldn't think in there. Staring at Harry's limp body only made her depressed. She went to her rock near the lake although it was cold. That didn't seem to bother her. 

          She took out her notebook and flipped through it. On her list was only:

          **Luke**

**          Friends.** The night before she didn't have any idea what to do about either of them. Now, after a good nights sleep she had a few ideas, at least about Ron and Hermione. She knew they hadn't _meant_ for anything to happen between the three of them. She figured, well hoped, that they just had to sincerely apologize.  

          She wrote **apology** under **friends** and stared at the other problem. How to take care of Luke. She had read in Harry's book of how the parents could be found unfit: abuse, neglect, and just plain bad parenting. She wasn't sure how to prove it. If only Harry would wake up. That of course was the whole reason she was thinking about those things.   
  


          She decided to go with what she had and she returned to the castle. Ron was in the common room. 

"Hey Gin," he said when he saw her. 

"Can I talk to you?" she said straight to the point. He nodded and she settled on the couch next to him. 

"What do you need?" she told him and he nodded. "Of course I will. I should have apologized ages ago. I've been a bit thickheaded." Ginny felt a sarcastic remark on her tongue but she held it back when she heard the genuine remorse in her older brother's voice. 

          "It really wasn't your fault." Ron waved her off. 

          "Yeah but partcialy  it was and that's enough. I just got so caught up in my own affairs that well I lost my best friend. I was bloody stupid Ginny." He sighed. "Much too stupid. I should have realized it. After fourth year and all that happened then. I just didn't." Ginny placed a hand on his shoulder. 

          "We all make mistakes." She sighed also and stared into the fire. After a moment Ron stirred under her touch.

          "By the way Gin. I found this on Harry's nightstand." He handed her a small leatherbound book. She realized immediately it was a diary. "It's his. I looked at it a bit. I don't think he'd mind your reading it." She stood.

          "Thanks Ron. She began to head towards the stairway but stopped. "Hey Ron. Remember how close we were when we were younger. How we used to spend hours just you and me. What happened?" Ron looked over at her.

          "I'm not sure Sis. I miss those days too. I guess life caught up with us. You know I love you right?"

          "O'course I do Ronniekins." She smiled and headed to her dorm. When she got up there she settled on her bed and drew the curtains a single candle lighting her hideaway enough for her to read. 

          **_June 3rd 1994_**

****

          I bought this journal on the trip with my "family" to London yesterday. I've never kept a journal before. I figured that since I now hove Luke to take care of I should document things. First of all you don't know who I am. I am Harry James Potter. I am almost fifteen years old. I am a wizard. There now that I've written that no one can see this. No muggles anyway. I just got back from my fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

          From there he went on to explain about the past years and his parents death. Ginny only skimmed until he had updated the journal to the present date.

          **_The other day I came home to an amazing shock. My aunt had a baby. His name is Luke. He was only born in April and he's sort of cute. Here's the real thing. I have to take care of him. I know absolutely nothing about babies. I mean nada, now I have to learn. I have to learn because… well maybe I should tell._**

****

**_          I got off the train a bit depressed. After all that had happened in this past year I couldn't really help it. I headed for my uncle's car. I was shocked to see a car seat. _**

****

**_"What is that?" I asked stupidly. Uncle Vernon glared at me._**

**_          "That is a baby."_**

****

**_"Well I knew that but-"_**

****

**_"And he is your responsibility." Uncle Vernon had ignored me and kept charging on as I hefted my trunk into the car trunk. Uncle Vernon just watched. "Yes you. Your aunt and I have no time to care for such a child. We have too much to do so as of today and until you go to school he is yours. You must come home on all holidays."_**

****

**_          I was completely shocked but I numbly got into the car. I stared at the baby and his huge blue eyes stared at me. He smiled and I fell for the little guy. He was as defenseless as I had been. He was skinny and I figured they weren't feeding him enough. When we slammed into their driveway they left it to me to unbuckle Luke. I went around to his side and it didn't tale and Aurour to notice that the car seat wasn't tight enough. It took me forever to unbuckle all those buckles mostly because they weren't buckled correctly._**

****

**_          When I carried him inside I found a crib in my room near my bed. There was a half full package of diapers near it and a few diaper wipes. In a drawer there were some changes of clothes though they didn't seem to be enough for a baby. I sat with him on my bed and just kind of stared at him for awhile. Then I gently began to play with his hands and he smiled at me. After a while he needed to be changed. It took me a minute but I figured it out and changed him. they did have formula so I was able to feed him at least._**

****

**_          Yesterday when they went to London I snuck into Diagon Alley and got some of my money changed. I bought some baby stuff, toys, diapers, clothes and baby food. They didn't ask where I got the money and I sure didn't volunteer._**

****

          Most of the days that followed were accounts of Luke. The thing that interested Ginny most was the mentions of how he was mistreated. This was the proof she needed.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

          Meanwhile Ron had just entered the Hospital Wing. He felt a bit awkward as he sat in the chair near Harry's bed. 

          "Er- Hi Harry. This is a bit hard for me mind but I just wanted to say. Well Mate I just wanted t' say I'm really sorry about what all happened between you and me. I'm not just saying that you know. Look I know I'd never been the greatest friend in the world. But you're my best friend. I'd hate to lose you.

          "Look I know these past couple years I haven't paid much attention to you lately but you are my friend. I love Hermione I truly do, but you're my best friend. You really are." Ron stared at Harry not sure of what to expect. He knew that wouldn't bring Harry out of it but it might help. Anything to help.

          As Lily led Harry to the Weasly's fireplace that night. Her arm was around him and he was huddled against her. She held him close as they spun in the fire. James was waiting for them smiling but his expression changed when he saw Harry had been crying. When Lily let him go he flew up to his room. James helped Lily remove her coat.

          "What happened to him?" Lily sighed and hung her coat up.

          "He and Ron had a fair bit of a row. Well a bit of is a bit of an understatement. You could hear those two yelling from anywhere in the house. I'm not sure exactly what it was about. Something to do with quidditch teams maybe. Doesn't matter. The way they were fighting you'd think it was the most important thing in the world." James nodded knowing how these things were. He and Sirius hadn't spoken for most of their third year. 

          That night James knocked on Harry's door.

          "Come in." was the nearly inaudible reply. He opened the door and sat on the end of Harry's bed. Harry was sitting under the covers with only his head uncovered. He twisted his gaze away from his father so he wouldn't be seen crying. James placed a hand on Harry's shoulder.

          "C'mon mate it can't be that bad can it?" Harry nodded sniffling. "You guys are friends. You'll make up."

          "We won't. I know it."

          "That's not a good attitude Harry. You will. And if worst comes to that you'll make new friends at Hogwarts." Harry looked up at him his eyes tearful.

          "I shan't all my friends are in a different world."

          "What do you mean?" Harry shrugged.

          "I dunno. I just know it." He slid all the way under the covers. James tucked the blanket around him and let the boy drift off to sleep before he left. 

**A/N well I think I did okay on that test as for the chapter… well I know it's short but well forgive me? As for your theories… I'm not telling!**


	7. Trial

**Title: Lost in the Abyss**

**Author: ShadowChild**

**Summary: Harry does something that brings everyone to reevaluate how well they know him. He tries to kill himself. Only one person cares enough to find out why.**

**A/N I just got home from a long trip so you can't sue me for how long this took. BOOK 5 ROCKS**

Ginny laid tiredly in her bed her notebook in her hand. On her list only **Luke** was left. She knew she had evidence against the Dursleys and that old book showed her that it could be done. She just wasn't sure _how. She also thought that that would not be the last thing that had to be done. She knew Voldemort would have to play a part in this. That as she knew was Harry's deal.  She thought it might be time to get an authority involved. But who?_

          Dumbledore was her first instinct surely he could do something. However he was highly occupied with the Order of Phoenix. She loved her father but she doubted if he could do much. She didn't know many other adults that could interfere. Unless. A thought occurred to her.  Would he be able to help? It was worth a try. With that she got up and rummaged in her trunk for paper and parchment. 

          _Dear Professor Lupin,_

_                    This is Ginny Weasly. You don't know me very well but I was in your classes and everything. This isn't really about me however it is about Harry. You see well I assume Dumbledore told you what happened. I found out a lot these past few weeks and I think it would help him if we could get his cousin Luke away from the Dursley's I know what is going on there and I have proof I just don't know what to do exactly._

_          If you could help me I would love it,_

_                                       Sincerely,_

_                                       Genevieve Cecilia Weasly._ She ran to the owlery and sent the letter as fast as she could. Then she headed to the hospital wing. 

************************************************************************      

          Harry stood close against his mother as they walked through the bustling streets of Diagon Alley. Luke tottered on the other side holding their mothers hand. Lily smiled down at her oldest son. His face still looked sad and she nudged him gently. 

          "Hey, you okay?" he smiled sadly up at her. "It'll all come out okay. Now what do you say we stop at Flurry and Fortiskues" (a/n sp?).

"Sound's good to me!" Harry smiled but was suddenly tugged out of this universe. He watched as Ginny sat down near him.

************************************************************************      

          "Hey Harry! I'm working on a surprise for you! I think it'll be another step to get you out of there." She kissed him gently on the cheek. He was shocked to find a tear running down her cheek. He knew however that she just felt sorry for him.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))   

          About a week later Ginny received an owl from Lupin.

          _Dear Ginny,_

_                    Of course I remember you, you as I remember preformed best in your year. Dumbledore did indeed inform me of what happened and I have a vague idea of what can be done to help. My father was a muggle attorney. He made me go through a bit of law school after Hogwarts because he didn't see how I'd be able to work in the Wizarding World. _

_          First off the muggle authorities must be called. Then there will most likely have to be a hearing. The problem with that is Harry would be the only witness and as he is unable to testify… You did however say you had evidence which is good. I would like to see you as soon as possible. Since you are on holiday it would be glorious if you could come down to Hogsmeade and met me at the Three Broomsticks at 2:00 on Saturday._

_                             Remus Lupin_

Ginny tossed the letter down and glanced at her watch. It was almost 1:30, she tossed the two books into her bag and ran out of Gryffindor Tower and sprinted the whole way down to Hogsmeade. She was panting by the time she arrived at the Three Broomsticks. She saw Lupin immediately and rushed over to him. 

"Ah Miss. Weasly how are you?"

"Fine Professor, I brought my evidence."

"Wonderful and since I am no longer your teacher please call me Remus." Ginny nodded and opened her bag she piled both Harry's diary and the muggle law book onto the table in front of Lupin. He flipped through both of them and smiled.

"This is very good Ginny you've done well." 

"Thank you Pro- Remus." He smiled at her blunder. 

"You've been a wonderful friend to Harry. I have wondered however if there is not one more reason that he might have attempted suicide; this is just a thought however-"

"Yes sir?"

"Well without parents I am sure there were times that Harry felt very alone especially after well Sirius… I know he is loved but well…" Ginny nodded. "Also Ginny you and I have work to do I believe it might be easier if you stayed with me in London. We need to contact the Dursleys as soon as possible. I think you need to be the one to do it but I need to help you. I've cleared it with Dumbledore we'll stay at the Leaky Cauldron." Ginny was surprised but she nodded. They flooed out of the Three Broomsticks immediately. 

Ginny and Lupin set up shop in a table far to the back of the pub parchment and quills spread around them. By the end of the day they had a letter to the Dursleys.

_Dear Mr. and Mrs. Vernon Dursley,_

_          You do not know me and I have only seen you from a distance. I am Genevieve Weasly. I am a very good friend of your nephew. I want you to know before the court order comes that I know exactly how you treats your son. It really does not matter how you treat him during the school year because I know very well what goes on during the summer. _

_                                       Genevieve Cecelia Weasly,_

          The moment the letter was sent Lupin arranged a hearing. It was to be the 14th of December not quite a week away. Ginny spent that week rereading and rereading Harry's diary. She found the points that needed to be made in front ofthe judge and felt her heart ache every time for the poor child. Luke Lupin assured her had been removed from the Dursleys the moment he called the authorities. 

          The date of the hearing approached quickly. Ginny was dressed in her best muggle clothing that she had had her mother owl her. She sat next to Lupin in the court room and shuddered to see Vernon Dursley scowling at her from the other side. The judged called them to order and Remus made his opening. He called Ginny up first.

          "Miss Weasly."

          "Yes sir?"

          "Could you tell me exactly what lead you to believe that these people were mistreating their son?" 

          "Well, my friend Harry. He well you see he hurt himself badly and I was looking through his things and I found his journal. I opened it and from the first page it held proof of the fact that Luke wasn't being cared for by his parents."

          "I see. You have some excerpts to read for us?"

          "Yes sir." She cleared her throat and Lupin handed her the journal. She started off with Harry first discovering Luke then read on. "_June 6th '**I am still amazed that Luke is so skinny. He eats a lot if you give him the chance. I have been using my money to buy him food because the Dursley's only give us one portion of a meal.' **_

"June 19th '**Luke's made a lot of progress I know he is only two months old but I know he should have been focusing sooner than he has. He actually looked at me for a full minute.'**

** "July 28th '****Luke rolled over! We were in our room and he was only floor while I did my homework and I heard a soft plop. Luke was on his back! I told Aunt Petunia but she waved me off.' **

"September 1st. **"I hated to leave Luke. He's so little and I won't be back until Christmas. Who knows what will happen'**

"December 13th '**not much had changed when I got home. As in Luke hadn't. he still isn't crawling though he is eight months old. He can roll over but he was doing that before I left. I think he recognized me because he smiled when I got into the car.  The first thing I noticed was that he had grown out of the diapers he wore. They were a size bigger than I had gotten him so at least they vaguely pay attention when Dudley and I are at school.**

**"April 23rd** 'well I'm home again in time for Luke's birthday. I bought a small cake which he was quick to spread all over himself… he is close to crawling now. I wish someone could have worked with him while I was at school. Fat Chance.****

**"June 13th** 'I am home for the summer. I mean to have Luke standing by the time I go again. I hope it is possible. Oh and one other thing one amazingly shocking thing. When I was bathing Luke yesterday (he was filthy) I saw something that made me feel sick. A huge bruise across his back. I can't be sure about what made it but I can guess.'****

**"July 29th** 'I cannot believe what just happened. Dudley kicked Luke. I was fixing him mashed carrots and Luke was happily crawling around the kitchen when the mammoth boy came in he went straight for the fridge of course but Luke was in front of it.****

**"'Out of the way you little prat,' he snarled as he kicked him. Luke began to cry and I scooped him up. I didn't say anything to Dudley for fear something worse would happen.'**

**"December 31st '**It is going to be so hard to leave Luke. He smiles at me so happily when he sees me. He won't go to Aunt Petunia not that she wants him often at all. He is beginning to babble more. And he is so so close to walking. He holds on to furniture and everything. He should have been walking ages ago however. ****

**"' April 24th **'Luke talked! He wasn't in the car when I was picked up and it turns out that he was at Mrs. Figgs. For all that I didn't like her as a child well he seemed quite happy there. When we went home he surprised me. We were in our room as usual and I was trying to get him to speak by saying words over and over e.g. book…book…book and he bursts out,****

**"Awwy. Awwy!" I knew immediately what he meant and I was so happy. **

**"June 20th '****he is walking! ****I've tried to take him out as much as possible walking around Little Whinging and today  we went to the play park. He was in the sandbox and a shovel he wanted was on the other side. He pulled himself up on the edge and walked right to it!'" **

" July 3rd '**I cannot believe what happened today. I actually saw Uncle Vernon slap Luke. Luke really hadn't done anything. Infact he was helping. I was sent to get the mail as usual and Luke who is tottering much better now followed. He picked up the paper before I could.**

**"Papew! Lukie hep awwy!" he said and I smiled at him. **

**"Sure." I said. He took the paper to Uncle Vernon but Uncle Vernon didn't appreciate the help.**

**"Get your slimy hands off my paper!" and he slapped him. Luke began to cry and I carried him upstairs.' That was all of the diary Ginny had agreed to read to the judge but there were two entries that had hit her hard.**

**          June 21st 1994. **

**                    I think I know why Luke is hated by his family. Today he was crying for a bottle and before I could get it to him it floated right to his cot. **

**          July 14th 1995.**

                    I took Luke to Diagon Alley with me today. I had to get muggle clothes but I've also outgrown my robes. Funnily I saw Ginny there with Dean Thomas. It was weird I wished I was Dean then. I didn't like Ginny much when she was fawning over me but now well it's different.

The trial went on. Mrs. Figg was a witness and she confirmed Harry's claims of malnourishment. The judge listened to both sides but in the end he ruled with Remus. One thing irked at Ginny as happy as she was.

          "Remus. Why'd they believe the diary?"

          "Simple. No one would make up that kind of thing." In the end the Dursleys were given two days to deliver Luke to the court and over to Ginny. Two days later a small boy was held in Ginny's arms while tears coursed down her face. Why you may ask? Because when he tottered towards her he cried,

          "Ginnee! Ginnee!"

**A/N bum bum bum. Chapter seven is finished! Will Luke be the key to Harry's mind? Or will there be more to do? ** 


	8. Breakthrough

**Title: Lost in the Abyss**

**Author: ShadowChild**

**Summary: Harry does something that brings everyone to reevaluate how well they know him. He tries to kill himself. Only one person cares enough to find out why.**

A/N okay I know this chappie is out very soon after the last one but well u no I want to finish this one b/c I have another fic ready to go. Btw if any1 is interested in a betaing job 4 my new fic e-mail me @: **Moorchyld14@aol.com**

Ginny sat in her and Luke's room in the Leaky Cauldron. Remus said there was still a few legal matters to tend to and so Ginny was taking care of Luke. Luke was a bright, bubbly little boy with a large smile. Ginny had baby-sat in the village for money in the summers and so she was used to children.

          Luke was very good but the one time she had to tell him no she was startled by his reaction. She had gone to the bathroom and left him there with a piece of paper and 'culers'. When she got back he was jumping on the bed and Ginny was afraid he would fall. She sat him down and said,

"Luke, no!" his big blue eyes filled with tears and he put his head in his arm and lied down curled up on the bed as if waiting for something to happen, something bad to happen. Ginny was startled by this behaviour and she reached out to pat his back and comfort him.

Luke who'd been, once she began playing with him, so loving drew away from her hand. Ginny settled in the bed next to him and held him in her arms. He was shaking. She held him so he could see her face and she smiled at him.

"Luke, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. I just don't want you jumping on the bed. That scares me when you do that, it scares me because I love you." when she said this she realized that it was true. He was an adorable child who had been through much too much for his two and a half years. That night she put him in the crib that Remus had conjured up and sang him to sleep. She started singing a song that her Mum had sung her but Luke's lower lip jutted out.

"No," he said, "ning moon nong!" (sing moon song.) Ginny was puzzled for a moment. Luke's language was easy enough to understand if you thought about it for a bit.

"Sing moon song?" she asked and Luke nodded happily.

"Es! Moon nong!" 

"Luke I don't know the moon song. Can Lukie sing it?" Luke nodded. He began to sing in a baby like way swaying his head.

"I see moon, moon see Luke, moon see one. God bess moon, God bess Luke, God bless one see." Ginny looked at him puzzled. Then a sudden memory of a song she'd heard someone sing one late night in the common room while she studied for O.W.L.S. Hesitantly she began to sing.

"_I see the moon _

_And the moon sees me_

_The moon sees the one, who I want to see,_

_God bless the moon,_

_And God bless me,_

_God bless the one who I want to see_." 

When she finished Luke nodded happily and yawned. 

"Good moon nong." he said as he drifted off to sleep. Ginny found that she had to wipe a tear from her eye.

That night she took out Harry's journal again. It was a long entry that she had skipped over at first. Now she skimmed it at first then read it. It was Christmas, Christmas the year before. Now Christmas was nearing again. 

**December 12th,**

**We went with the Dursley's to get a tree to-day. Usually they sent me to Mrs. Figgs while the family got a tree but I guess this year they wanted to show off their cute little baby. I went along because after all none of them could be bothered actually caring for this child. **

**The Dursley's would never actually go anywhere and cut down a tree that is too much work. Instead they go to the Home and Garden store. They piled us all in the car me between Dudley's fat buttocks and Luke's car seat which I, ****when I got home, had to tighten once again. When we got there I was left to unbuckle Luke but Aunt Petunia grabbed his wrist as soon as he was out. **

**"Give me my child." She snarled at me as if I was purposely keeping Luke from her. She held his little wrist tight with her bony fingers and almost dragged him. I cringed to see him handled that way.**

**When we got to the back lot where the trees were she almost threw him into a cart and pushed him hard down the aisles. I tagged after her. Luke sent me looks and his little eyes said, _save me but I couldn't. That was the worst feeling ever. It makes me wonder even more what happens while I am at school._**

**I know he doesn't get feed enough. When I am home I sneak down stairs to get us more food. I have learned how to walk so as not to wake the Dursleys.**

**So then ****Vernon**** called Petunia over to look at some huge tree. I walked up to Luke and he held his arms out trying to get me to get him out.**

**"Sorry, bud I can't get you out." I whispered. I heard Petunia's heels clicking back towards me and I sprang quickly away from the cart.**

**I followed them down the aisles. Petunia nearly knocked Luke into about twenty different trees. She didn't speak to him at all simply pulled her necklace away from his grasp. A few times women stopped her,**

**"What an adorable baby," baby they crooned, and he was. He wore red overalls with a Christmas tree on the front bib with a red, white, and green stripped shirt. What really irked me is that when she was stopped Petunia would smile graciously and say,**

**"Oh thank you! He's the light of my life!" the woman whom she was talking to would also smile.**

**"Oh, that's wonderful. How old is he?" he is twenty months old.**

**"Oh eighteen months but it seems like he's been part of me forever." It just about made me sick.**

Ginny did not read this to the court because they would say that it showed that Petunia may not show it but did care about her son. To quote Harry, fat chance.

The next morning Ginny was awakened by a small had touching her face. She opened her eyes to see Luke's sapphire orbs shining back. When she cracked her eyes open he smiled widely,

"Guh morning!" he said. Ginny laughed and sat up. 

"Good morning to you!" she got up and began to make the bed with Luke still in it. She pulled the sheet up over his head and he giggled.

"Gee I wonder where Luke is?" she said and he giggled more. She'd learned In the past day that his receptive language was much better than his expressive language. When Ginny asked Remus about this he said it was probably because though Luke was not encouraged to talk around the Dursley's he heard them speak. 

Now she pulled the quilt over Luke's head and the giggling became muffled. 

"Oh my gosh! Where could Luke be? I hope he didn't run away!" then she pulled the covers back from the laughing, wriggling lump under the covers.

"Oh there he is!" Luke laughed and scrambled out from under the covers. When Ginny started to remake the bed Luke stood next to her.

"Luke hep?" he asked. 

"Sure!" Ginny said. Luke smiled and smoothed the covers up. He picked a pillow, which was nearly his size, up from the floor and plopped it on the bed. "Good job." Ginny said and Luke beamed.

"Luke best heper." Ginny nodded.

"That's right."

"Luke Hawwy's best heper and Ginnee best heper." Ginny felt her heart melt and she bent down and hugged the little boy.

"Yes you are. Now come on let's get some breakfast." She took Luke's small hand in hers and they went downstairs. Tom the innkeeper smiled when he saw them.

"Well hello there young man." He said. Luke smiled at him. Remus was waiting for them. He conjured a large cushion and set it on a chair so Luke could reach the table. Ginny cut up some eggs, sausage, and bacon for him and Luke began to eat with gusto.

"You're good with him." Remus said to Ginny as she began to eat her own eggs.

"Well," she said as she swallowed, "I have to be. I mean the only person who's ever taken really good care of him is Harry and I well I love Harry so I have to take care of Luke." Remus nodded.

"So you love Harry." Ginny nodded.

"Yes I do, when I was younger I had a mad crush on him but now I love him as more of a person. Not just because of all he's been through but because he is a wonderful person."

"Maybe you should tell him that." Ginny nodded. 

"I shall right before I bring Luke in." 

They flooed back to The Three Broomsticks that day, Luke holding tightly to Ginny. He didn't cry as Ginny remembered doing as a small girl but he had a look of fear on his face. When they walked to the castle he seemed to know it. Sure enough when they were closer he smiled and said,

"Hogwats! Hawwy en hogwats!" Ginny nodded her suspicions confirmed. Harry must have used his photo album to teach Luke. He probably talked about the pictures in it. So what did he say about her?

Ginny and Luke walked to the hospital wing. Ginny did not want to bring Luke in right away, she had to talk to Harry, but she wasn't sure what to do with him. she decided to see if Madame Pomfrey would take care of him. The nurse agreed and Ginny settled Luke with a coloring book.

          Harry was packing his trunk for Hogwarts when he felt himself pulled once again out of his dream. When he was back in the darkness he knew that several real days had passed since he was called back. Time seemed to run different inside his head. 

          Ginny sat, as usual, in the chair by his bed. 

          "Well Harry, I'm back. I have a surprise for you but first I want to say that I love you. You may not believe me. it took me a while to realize it. I do not feel sorry for you. You know I have read your journal. You may be mad at me for that but I had to do it. I know what you have done in the past two years and you have done an amazing job with Luke. He is one of the luckiest little boys in the world. I just wanted to tell you that you are loved here. Now I'll get your surprise.

          She stood and left while Harry was pulled back into his dream world. 

          He was still sitting in his bed packing his trunk when the whole house seemed to shake. He heard voices downstairs and he leapt off the bed. When he was halfway down the stairs everything went quiet. When he got downstairs he saw a figure in a black cloak running from the house. 

          He ran to the living room where his family was listening to the Puddlemere United game on the WWN. When he got there he almost passed out. His parents and little sister, the people who loved him lay lifeless on the floor.

          Ginny ran to get Luke from the nurse. When she took him to Harry Luke gave a full toothed grin,

          "Hawwy!" he cried. When there was no response he looked over at Ginny and put a finger on his lips. "Shh. Hawwy seeping." 

          Harry saw Luke standing there but he didn't want to believe it. Then it sunk in and he had to get out of the abyss that held him. He ran to what looked like the edge of it. He ran and ran and tried to get through, and he did for just a second, 

          Ginny almost passed out. A minute after Luke proclaimed Harry asleep Harry's eyes opened just a small crack and he murmured,

          "Luke." Before he was once again lost in the abyss.

**A/N okay looks like we have some time to go still… I think we only have about a chapter and an epilogue to go. If any one is interested in that Beta job let me know.**


	9. Hesitation

**Title: Lost in the Abyss**

**Author: ShadowChild**

**Summary: Harry does something that brings everyone to reevaluate how well they know him. He tries to kill himself. Only one person cares enough to find out why.**

**A/****N Nuther**** chappie. I think we're nearing the end here folks but my new story should be out soon enough… it's not quite as angsty as this but I hope you like it…**

That one breakthrough made Ginny so happy that she snuck down to the kitchens and Dobby gave her a cake that she shared with Luke who loved it. 

          She and Luke visited Harry everyday and every once in awhile he'd twitch or almost open his eyes. It was finally as if he was trying to fight the force holding him.

          Harry was worse than miserable. After finding his parents his heart had leapt into his throat and he'd ran up stairs to where Luke was asleep in his crib and found that the baby boy was not breathing. Harry had fallen to his knees and started to sob. He wasn't sure for how long he knelt on the floor of his baby brother's room. At some point a group of wizards came in. He didn't know any of them.

          They didn't seem to know what to do with him, it seemed that Sirius and Remus had been attacked also. When Harry heard that he started to bawl again and a medi-wizard gave him a sedative. 

          When he'd awoken he hadn't known where he was. He thought he'd been there before but the nurse standing over him was someone he didn't recognize.

          "Hello there Mr. Potter. I am Madame Pomfrey. You are at Hogwarts. Professor Dumbledore thought this would be best since classes start next week."

          Harry had nodded feeling sluggish and drowsy. When he awoke again he felt better and he sat up. When Madame Pomfrey came back he asked her,

          "Where will I live in the summer?" 

          "It's not for me to say but I believe you will be living with your mother's sister." Harry flinched. His mother had not liked her sister he was sure of that. One time he'd heard her call his aunt,

          "A giraffe cross bred with a beaver." 

          It was nearly Christmas. The school was decorated and most of the students were home. On December 23rd Luke and Ginny were walking to the Great Hall when someone rushed past them then stopped. It was Dumbledore.

          "Oh Ginny, I was looking for you. And is this Luke? Pleased to meet you young man." He shook Luke's hand hurriedly as he continued, "Ginny there is an emergency. Voldemort and his death-eaters are going to attack the castle." Ginny nodded knowing what he wanted. She scooped up Luke and ran to the Hospital Wing. Luke struggled. It was late for dinner and he was hungry,

"Ginnee! Puta down! Gotta eat!" 

          "Sorry Kiddo we have to go get Harry." Luke's eyes brightened.

          "Hawwy gonna wakie up?" he asked hopefully. Luke had not understood why his Harry was always 'seeping.' 

          "I hope so." she had Luke sit on an empty bed while she went to kneel next to Harry's bed. 

          "Harry you need to wake up now. Voldemort is attacking. That is not the only reason we need you. Luke misses you. He doesn't know why you won't wake up. I know you want to by now and it is time. 

"Harry I know you think or at least you thought we, only need you to defeat Voldemort but that is not true. We all need you Harry, Hermione and Ron need you. I need you. Luke needs you c'mon Harry." Harry's eyes began to flicker

          Harry was once again running through the blackness. There seemed to be a point of white on the horizon and he ran to it. 

          He ran and ran until he didn't think he could run anymore. Then the light seemed to enlarge. It engulfed him in a white wonderness. It was blinding but he was so happy he was going where he needed to be and it felt wonderful. He wanted to travel through the light. He swam through it and then he flew through it and then he opened his eyes.

          His vision was blurry then Ginny sat his glasses on his nose. He sat up and smiled at her. She smiled back and he wondered why he'd never realized how beautiful she was before. Suddenly there was a weight on his lap and he looked down to see that Luke had crawled onto his lap. 

          "Hawwy! " He cried Harry held him closed blinking back the hot tears that wanted to come. "Hawwy wakie up!" 

          "That's right Luke." Harry looked at Ginny who also had tears in her eyes. "That's right." He sat Luke down remembering what he must do. He stood and Ginny handed him his wand. He met her eyes and whispered "thank you." he felt his face drawing magnetically nearer to hers and their lips met in a warm, passionate kiss. When they drew apart Ginny whispered,

          "You're welcome." Harry ran out of the room knowing that he had something that he had to take care of himself. Ginny stood watching the door close behind him. The past moment seemed unreal. After everything she'd finally brought him back and she was so happy. Now who knew what would happen. Luke came over to her a worried look on his small face.

          "Hawwy go bye, bye?" he asked. Ginny nodded holding back tears.

          "Yes. But he'll be right back." Luke nodded solemnly satisfied.

          Ginny did not know how long she waited with Luke in the hospital wing. Luke had gotten very cranky, he was hungry and then she knew he was very tired. He cried for a while and Ginny held him close, rocking him until he fell asleep. From around her she could the occasional scream or breaking window and she didn't know what was going on. At one point she put her head in her hands and cried out of fear. 

          The tears had just stopped coming when the door to the Hospital Wing creaked open. Ginny sat up then jumped to her feet as a pale, exhausted looking Harry came into the room. Ginny hugged him and he held her for a while then they both sat down on the bed Harry had occupied for a month.

          "Oh, Harry I was so scared." She whispered so as not to awaken Luke. Harry smiled meekly.

          "So was I." 

          "Is he gone?" Ginny asked worriedly. Harry nodded.

          "Yes. Or at least he should be. I ran first to Dumbledore and he gave me this book. It was ancient and he told me that it was made by Merlin. When a person's archrival uses it on them and it is indeed a matter of finality, that is it is the final battle, they will be trapped in the book. The entire story of their life will be there but the person will never return."

          "And you used that on Voldemort?" Harry nodded. "Wow Harry." Harry shrugged.

          "I did what I needed to do." Ginny put her arms around him.

          "Yes you did. All I care about is that you were here to do them." Harry smiled and kissed her again.

          Once again the Wizarding World celebrated this time for the true vanquishment (**a/n my word**) of the Dark Lord. The students were called back to Hogwarts early to celebrate. Christmas Spirit was magnified. For that occasion the house fires were opened to the Floo network. Ron and Hermione came tumbling through the fire together. Hermione threw herself at Harry.

          "Oh Harry I'm so sorry." Harry hugged her back a tear in his green eyes.

          "That's okay Hermione. I owe you an apology too." Hermione let go and Ron came hesitantly over to Harry.

          "Hey mate I just want to say," Harry put his hand up.

          "No Ron you've already apologized. It's my turn. I should have told you guys how I felt. I should have told you about Luke."

          "You tried Harry. We should have listened more." Harry shrugged.

          "Well it's done now. What do you say we go play quidditch." Ron grinned. Ginny was just coming down the stairs with Luke who'd just awoken from a nap. 

          "Won and Hermynin!" he exclaimed. Ron and Hermione were opened mouthed. Harry took Luke from Ginny.

          "What do you say kiddo? You want to ride on a broom for the first time?" Luke clapped his small hands.

          "Broom!" Ginny smiled.

          "And you Ginny? Care to fly a bit?" she nodded and they all went out to the quidditch pitch.

          One evening Ginny noticed someone missing from the nightly celebration. Harry had gone to put Luke to bed in the Gryffindor tower, Ginny did it the night before, and he had not returned. 

          Ginny's first thought was that he had stayed upstairs with Luke but she saw that one of the huge doors to the grounds was open a crack. Ginny slipped out outside and saw a solitary figure sitting on the same rock by the lake that she liked to sit on. She trekked through the snow. The sun was setting in the winter sky a million different oranges and reds blending with pinks and golds. 

          She stood behind him for a moment before sitting on the snow next to his rock. 

          "Hey." She said cautiously. Harry kept looking at the sunset as he murmured,

          "Hey." They sat in silence for a moment neither of them wanting to upset the other. "It's so beautiful." Harry finally said. 

          "Yeah it is."

          "You know I've always thought of sunsets as the bringer of life. I know most people consider that the sunrise but with the sunrise a day has ended and you spend the night just waiting for the new one. I know that sounds corny," 

          "No, it sounds beautiful. Harry," Ginny paused wondering if she dared ask the question that had nagged at her since he'd awoken. "Did you, want to come back?" Now Harry finally looked down at her.

          "At first I didn't, I was happy. The dreams, they were everything I'd ever wanted. Sure when I'd come out of it I'd know they were only dreams but that didn't seem to matter. After a while when you started to correct thing well the dreams weren't so wonderful any more and I wanted to come back and apologize. Then when you brought Luke I fought the dreams."

          "Yeah I figured you were." Harry smiled. 

          "I have so much to thank you for Ginny." Ginny waved him off.

          "There's only one thing I want. I want you to love me. If you don't its okay just know I love you." Harry looked at her and chuckled a bit.

          "Oh Ginny I love you. I've loved you I think since fifth year. I thought I loved Cho but then I knew I didn't it was you. You told me Luke recognized you when you picked him up. Well yours was my favorite picture to show him." Harry began to blush despite the cold weather. "Some nights when I was really mad at the Dursley's I used to imagine, well I'd imagine that one day you and I would raise Luke together." He ducked his head down looking at his hands.

          "Oh, Harry." Ginny breathed.

          "Yeah, I know it's stupid." Ginny shook her head.

          "No Harry, it's perfect. I was thinking the same thing the past few days." Harry looked at her again hope in his eyes that used to be so filled with pain. Ginny thought she saw a faint spark of the life that used to live in his eyes. 

          "Really?" Ginny nodded and Harry smiled. Ginny got on her knees in the snow and kissed him. They walked back to the castle hand in hand. 

**A/N *wipes tear from eye.* well all that's left is the epilogue. It's been a wonderful ride. I think this story will always be one of my favs! Review ****s'il vous**** plait. **


	10. Epilouge

**Title: Lost in the Abyss**

**Author: ShadowChild**

**Summary: Harry does something that brings everyone to reevaluate how well they know him. He tries to kill himself. Only one person cares enough to find out why.**

**A/N *dodges tomatoes* I know I know it's been a while… but blame the school system for making me go 7-3 five days a week…**

          Two years after that night on the grounds Harry Potter stood in front of a mirror in a small room at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry where he lived, working as a teacher. He looked himself up and down staring at the suit he would wear this day. Someone approached him in the mirror and put a hand on his shoulder. Harry looked up to see Ron grinning at him. 

          "You ready for this mate?" Harry grinned. The spark had now returned completely to his eyes and the depression that had overcome his manner and appearance through out his mid-teens had been long gone.  

          "Ron I've been ready for this since I was fifteen." Ron grinned wider then stopped and feigned seriousness. 

          "Just treat my little sister well." 

          "I wouldn't dream of treating her any other way." Ron grinned again and cuffed Harry on the back.

          Ginny Weasly soon to be Ginny Potter also stood in front of a mirror as her mother braided flowers into her daughters flowing red hair. Ginny grinned uncontrollably she was so happy she wanted to squeal with delight.  She felt incredibly beautiful in the long white dress Harry had bought her. This day was one she'd waited for, for a long time. A blond haired little boy came up to her. He  was barely taller than her waist. He wore a small suit and tie and he grinned up at her with baby teeth.

          "I hafta go see Daddy now right? An' get the rings?"

          'That's right Luke. I'll see you later." 

          "K, love you Mummy." Even though he'd called her mummy for ages now it still touched her heart.

          "I love you too Lukie." As he trotted off to the other room her mother pinned the last braid in place. Ginny spun around happily as all her dreams fell into place. 

          The afternoon sun shown on the Hogwarts grounds as the guest gathered in the magically conjured seats on the lawn. Dumbledore stepped up to the podium and a hush fell over them. Harry and Ron stood next to them. Harry was so happy that he felt as if he might burst. 

          First down the aisle came Luke walking carefully and proudly as his Grandma Molly had instructed and holding the pillow as if it might blow up at any second. He finally came to a stop next to his father who placed a hand on the small boys head. Then came Ginny. Harry thought she looked ravishing. She held onto her fathers arm and when he let go she kissed him. He joined her mother who sat a tear trickling down her face as she smiled for her daughter. 

          When she stepped up next to Harry the look that passed between them was one of pure love. Dumbledore cleared his throat and began.

          "I have watched these two grow from children to wonderful young adults. They have survived trails beyond normal people their age and they possess an undying love for each other and for Luke the boy they're bringing up to be a fine person like themselves. And now with out further ado let us begin." He preformed the ceremony and pronounced them man and wife. It couldn't come soon enough for Harry and when he was given permission he kissed Ginny long and hard. They celebrated all evening. Then as he and Ginny left the reception Ron pulled him aside.

          "Hey mate now you can have a kid of your own without having to rely on your aunt and uncle." Harry laughed knowing Ron meant it in jest. Truly he hoped to do just that. He and Ginny wanted a large family.

          They had one. Luke ended up with four brothers and sisters. Theirs was a happy family with love to spare.

**A/n Well… that's it. It's been a wonderful ride. And the sooner you review the sooner I start posting my new story!!!**


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